Not one of these pale roses would I choose to match the flowers of my red ideal.

What am I supposed to do

I can’t believe it’s snowing again. Yesterday, I was certain that summer was riding on my non-booted heels. Everyone’s blurred pouting faces looked a tinge less miserable in the sunshine. What an absurd little world we live in. (Take me back to Flo-ri-da!)

I can’t remember what I was dreaming of

Pointer middle ring litte

spread apart the needles of grass

like construction paper cut-outs

of bright green triangles

leaving slits in the folds

of the joints in my fingers

Fiskar scissor shapes

a dull blade to slice

the sharpened sheet

Awake in a pool of mud

and try to find your head

I dreamt of long walks in the snow

and inns with no more room

and no one would give me water

the men in suits offered me a role on stage

but I had forgotten how to read

and I stuttered raining pools of spit

that puddled at my feet

Through the walls a loud voice travels

it rolls over the tops of shrinking rats

is pulled by strings attached

to the wheels of the chair

that moves back and forth overhead

Get up and walk

If I can drag my feet through the sludge then so can you.

Damn, I really hate when the Canadian is home.

Everything that exalts life at the same time increases its absurdity.

—Albert Camus

In the Algerian summer I learn that one thing only is more tragic than suffering, and that is the life of a happy man.

—Albert Camus

It is well known that one’s native land is always recognized at the moment of losing it. For those who are too uneasy about themselves, their native land is the one that negates them. But after all what negates me in this life is first of all what kills me.

—Albert Camus

The guy sitting next to me on the airplane will not stop eating his fingers and I can see him doing it in my periphery and it is driving me nuts. I am going to smack him.

Manner brilliance

"Well don’t smile because it would surely break your face."

-Are you single?

-Are you having an affair?

-Why are you so sad?

-When was the last time you felt happy?

-Was it a true, pure happy or a relative happy?

-Are you who you want to be?

-Would you prefer to be someone else?

-Are you similar to the “you” you thought you would become when as a child you imagined your future self?

-Is today worse than yesterday?

-If you were a day of the week, would you be Monday or Wednesday?

-What does it feel like to get out of bed in the morning?

-Do you realize you have on average another 11,000 to 18,250 mornings of looking in the mirror and wondering if people will find you attractive?

-Do you think people will remember you after you die?

-For how long after you die?

-Do you believe in God?

-Do you believe in life after death?

-Do you believe in life after God?

-Do you hear voices?

-Are you for the chemical elimination of all things painful?

-Do you think we need more sports?